Blended Families
If it's quiet at your house, that's because something went south and probably needs delicate investigation. Otherwise, it's a joyous bounty of clashing personalities who sometimes get along.​
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Blended families are a beautiful tapestry of interlocking relationships - some born with and others who joined along the journey. And sometimes, you like it that way! Yet, the challenges are plenty, if not the norm.​
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Families don't have to be in harmony all the time to give and receive both love and respect. Learning to live together is a formative human process, and we can benefit from family conflict as much as we may shy away from it (or seek it too readily).
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Finding a balanced approach to support your family is critical, and having that space where you can leave the judgment at the door, encounter compassion, or maybe solve a conflict or two is just what you're looking for...
How Therapy Can Support Your Family
Divorce can be both challenging and relieving for spouses and their children. Whether it's a formal or informal arrangement, often times you are looking for some helpful tools and a solid path to raise children in different homes, and potentially with other siblings. Therapy offers a focused time to discuss specific topics like: coparenting, processing loss, explaining new relationships, and resolving everyday conflicts.
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An experienced family therapist can be hard to come by - especially one with the cajones to work through family conflict. You may have tried therapy before unsuccessfully or are taking the leap for the first time, yet you know that it will be worth the effort to find the right fit. Seeing a therapist who gets family dynamics inside and out can make a difference in how you work our parenting conflicts, clarify your family priorities, and learn to live with one another (somewhat) peaceably.
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Therapy can be messy when you attend as an individual, couple or family. It's best to expect there will be benefits and drawbacks to airing out the laundry. Though you may want to keep your conflicts piled in the closet, it's time to take a step toward courage! We may even have some laughs along the way.
My Approach:
Take Everything with a Grain of Salt
Humans are difficult to live with, no matter their personality or persuasion. And that's because harmony takes effort and intentionality - it's not a given. Humans have been adapting and learning cooperation in community for ages. It's okay that we don't have a perfect strategy for raising a family in multiple households - that's part of the fun!​
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I am committed to compassionate neutrality - this means that I take "everything with a grain of salt." We often times need to work through practical actions that show love, rather than get trudged through the mud of unknowable intentions. In simpler terms, our relationships change when we act out how we want them to be. It's tough to let go of dissonance, and yet it can be freeing to realize we're all allowed to be human and no one is their best self 24 hours a day. I use therapy as an action-oriented time to make tangible progress toward specific goals. If you can handle a little trial and error, I'll walk beside you - every courageous step.